Back Seat Driver on the BUS...and Other News

Kids, there is a lady on this bus seriously screaming navigation from the back row like the driver doesn't know the route. She is crazy. Seriously.

In other news, I had a friend tell me today that my recent posts are lacking compared to some of the funny anecdotes of the past.

Well, peeps, my response to this fellow writer, kind friend, and all-around good guy is this: I haven't been on a late train in a bit. Why? I haven't been out with the gang in a bit. So, I think it's time to remedy that by having a grand ole' get together with the work peeps next week. 

What say you? 

Obnoxious Pregnant Lady on the Regular Train

Listen lady,

I get it. Life is rough. You are on the outs with your family.  They treat your poorly and talk down to you about your life decisions. Your pregnancy is high-risk and you have no help, or so you keep telling the person on the other end of that phone call.

However, I don't need to hear about the placement of your placenta and other medically gross stuff related to your pregnancy. This is a commuter train, not a doctor's office or your friend's house or anywhere else that such a (what I consider) private conversation should be held.

K? Thanks!

Summer on the Late Train

I know better, Readers. I really do know better. 

It's summer in Chicago, and that means many touristy types sharing train cars with the normal, commuter types like me.

I could have left the office at 5pm and made an express train. I decided to stay an extra hour or so to finish up that last bit of work on a project in order to start the day fresh tomorrow. I. Know. Better.

The train is leaving any minute now, and in my car is a family with, by my count, 3 over-sugared young boys on the upper level who have torn through the length of the car clanging the reversible seats around while their father, in a low, monotone voice, says "Boys. Stop. Stop, boys." Meanwhile, their mother is on the lower level. She is happily ignoring the "Mom! Look! Look, Mom!" yells from above.

Enter the next set of families traveling together made up of teenagers and moms. "This car doesn't have an outlet. The other one had an outlet. How did we miss the last train? You were slow, that's how! Do you guys want lasagna for dinner? Ew! Gross!"

*Sigh*

Finally, I am again the approachable person on the train, allowing a fellow commuter the seat next to mine, with seconds to spare before the train leaves the station.  

It's gonna be a long hour.  

I think I'll read.

So Loud on the Mid-Day Train

So I had a doctor's appointment this morning. I thought to myself, "Easy-Peasy. Appointment at 8:45, to the train by 9:40, to the office by 11:00."

Well, readers, at 9:40 this morning, there were no parking spaces in the near lot. Or the far lot. Or the side lot. Or the lot a half a block away. (You should note, however, that I accurately guessed how long my appointment would take this morning. Doctor-1, BNSF-0)

So, I headed to the next stop on the train route and get a spot on the parking garage. No, I did not mistype. ON the top level of the parking garage. Hey, at least there was a spot.  Despite the rush to get a spot and hoof it over to the station, I managed to miss the 9:45 train that was running almost 10 minutes late.  The next train wasn't scheduled until 10:45. 

Having at least 45 minutes to kill, I stopped off for a coffee and a yogurt. And waited. And waited. As I waited, a slew of high schoolers walked up. My favorite type of train rider! Teenagers headed to the city beach in droves.

The train finally arrived, ten minutes late of course, and I hopped on a car the high schoolers were NOT boarding...to be met by another hive of them! 

We've made seven stops so far, and each of them has teens boarding. Squealing teens. Loud, squealing teens. Add to that the tourists (good job being thrifty, seriously-kudos), the families with babies, and the mature set, and it feels like a plane trip to Orlando...with as much leg room.

Next time, I just take the whole day off.