Make Yourself at Home on the Late Train

Hi, peeps...while it has been a bit since I posted regularly, this week has been a goldmine.

I'm on the 9:40 train home. It's raining outside, so there are some wet seats, but generally enough seats that everyone can have a seat to him- or herself. 

I saw this guy walk one way then the other. I was absorbed in reading, so I hadn't noticed that the reason he walked past me once then twice until I looked up and glanced around.

It was this chick.

This self-absorbed, entitled, manner-lacking chick. The dude had to use his suit jacket to wipe off the seat in which he eventually sat. (2 rows up from me) because this chick took up what is meant to accommodate 4 people. Wow.

"Are You Serious?" Thoughts on the Bus to the Late Train

Wow, lady. 

I guess you really needed to make this bus. So much so that the driver had to slam on his breaks to keep from running you down while you crossed the middle of the street (not the crosswalk) with a green light (that then turned yellow and red while waiting on you to actually board the bus). 

I am glad the driver yelled at you, and I'm not sorry that the rest of my fellow passengers gave you dirty looks and made you feel bad for your laughing at almost getting killed.

Especially since you got off after 2 stops. I would have just walked.

Taffy Chewing on the Regular Train

Please, for the love of all things Holy, STOP. SMACKING. YOUR. TAFFY. (Or whatever fruity-smelling candy is causing your mouth to make that horribly irritating noise)

A Magical Late EXPRESS Train

Kids, I'm on the late train tonight. I fully expected to be on the 8:40 p.m. local train that would put my home arrival time at around 10 p.m. 

Well, some unfortunate souls earlier tonight had to deal with an equipment failure (a blown engine, info courtesy of my favorite Metra Police Officer) on the 7:40 p.m. local. 

So...They. added. an. EXPRESS. TRAIN. It leaves at 8:35 p.m. First stop? This girl's home station! I'll be home around 9:15 p.m. 🚊👍😃

You did something right, Metra.

A Full Dinner with Real Dishes on the Quiet Car

Folks, I get it. It's 6:30. It's been a long day. People get hungry. You have a snack or even a sandwich, a quick meal.

But how many of you would have a full, proper dinner on the train, using real plates and flatware instead of the Tupperware we all know and love? How many of you would slurp soup and clang your spoon in your glass bowl? Well, some lady on my train car, obviously...

I am certain my own hunger is making this seem horrible only to me. Surely it's not as irritating to the others, right?

FaceTime on the Summer Train

There is a woman on FaceTime with her husband and kid. No earbuds. Loud talking. For reelz.

You guys, you know me. I give kudos to the tourists who take public transit. Way to be frugal, people. But, listen up tourists taking up space on my bus and train: please follow these simple rules for CTA and Metra travel:

1. Don't freak out because you think you're on the wrong bus or because you think the bus driver missed your stop. I know this is hard to believe, but the bus driver actually knows where he or she is going. The Union Station stop on the 151 bus DOES go past what you think is Union Station. That's one of at least eight entrances I can think of. The station takes up a couple city blocks, and that's just on the surface. 

2. Move to the back of the bus to get off. People can only get on at the front. You're blocking them when you think you should get off through the same door you get on. There are two doors for that very reason.

3. Make sure you're getting on the right train (I'm looking at you, dolled-up teenage girls cackling in the front seat). Oops. You now have to get off at the first stop of this express train at Downers Grove Main Street and double back on the next inbound local train to Riverside.

4. Don't FaceTime. Just don't, or if you do, use earbuds.

That's my short list to cover today's summer tourists. Overall, just be aware. Aware of your surroundings, aware of others.

Snobby Cruise Planning on the Regular Train

Lady, if you are going to be this cranky and snobby when talking to your friend/significant other/whatever about how you want the grand-ultimate-all-inclusive-most-amazing-cruise-in-the-world, maybe you should not travel with other people/couples/whatever. 

You have indicated that it's not your fault "they don't drink" so you're "getting a drink package for yourself" and that you "want a certain level of luxury, so if they don't want to spend that much they can stay in an interior cabin." Wow. You know what? You should go alone. Completely alone. That way, nobody else can ruin your good time.

And you can't ruin theirs.