Awesome Conductor on the Late Train

Folks, you know how sometimes on a flight-maybe early morning or late night-the flight attendant makes funny announcements just to make the flight go by with a smile? I love that.

Well, you know what? It happens on Metra, too!  

I'm not on a really late train...moderately late, sure. However, as I've mentioned before, it's summer in Chicago. That means awesome late-train rides!

The announcing conductor on this evening's train gave us all a little chuckle or two as he made the departure announcements. They went something like this:

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is the 7:40 train to Aurora. Please have your tickets, money -- or whatever else you need to show us in order to make this day go on -- ready. Do not wait until the last minute. I repeat, do not wait until the last minute. Also, if you need to purchase your ticket on the train, it will be an additional charge of $3 on top of the ticket price. The. Station. Is. Still. Open. This is nothing new. That's $3 more if you need to buy your ticket on the train. Additionally, if you are not in a party of three or more -- that's three or more -- please do not flip the seats. Everyone needs a seat. Make some room. And, for those of you conducting personal hygiene aboard, please stop and do that at home! That means anybody clipping fingernails or toenails, do it somewhere other than the train. If you have to do it, use the restroom.  And finally, do not put your feet on the seats. Feet with shoes, bare feet, dirty feet. Don't do it. That's nasty, and people don't want to sit where your feet have been. Thank you for your attention, and have a great commute."

Awesome. Happy commute, fellow passengers!