Cinco de Mayo on the Late Train

So, I worked late. Then I missed a train by 30 seconds. Then I waited 40 minutes to board and 20 more minutes for the next train to leave the station. I decided to get something close to Mexican food: tortilla chips and guacamole.

Next, a weird guy sat in front of me, only after giving me a weird look. Dude. I'm eating chips and guacamole. It's like my favorite train snack, AND it's May 5. Leave me alone.

Then, two more dudes sat in front of him. The one facing us had on A FAKE MUSTACHE! No lie. We are 25 minutes into the ride, and he shows no signs of removing it!

What the what?!?